In the Looking Glass: A Mother's Transformation

Marks of the Underworld show themselves to us in the subtle markings of our face

Over the last almost seven months I have, on a few occasions, caught sight of my face in a mirror or picture and been shocked at the face looking back at me.

There is a beauty that is more raw, there are lines and freckles I don’t remember being there before.

There is a depth, that I am certain wasn’t there before.

Innocence replaced by a grounded Truth.

Self-centredness taken over by a heart to serve.

The hours and days and nights that we journeyed together navigating both internal and external landscapes have formed grooves and lines and marks on my face.

Like the story of Innana descending into the underworld, my face shows that descent and everything that was let go at each new depth that I reached.

It shows the heartbeat that lived within me that has shaped my smile and has brightened my eyes.

I look at her and I know she has gained wisdom, stories, knowing.

I know her heart grew 3.5kg and 51cm (and continues to exponentially grow) the size of a perfect little boy that was birthed through her womb.

I look at her and I know that her journey took her to a rock bottom and that rock bottom gifted her SIGHT.

There is no before, there is only after.

Did it all happen overnight ? Or has it been a steady shift over time ? I don’t know, but I do know I see a different person in the mirror.

A quiet rebirth. A serene radiance. At times too subtle for others to notice.

My husband says I don’t look any different to him, and perhaps it is a case of subtle shifts that only one can see, who has been looking at the same (aging) face for 32 years.

Maybe I am the only one attuned to every atom and its configuration in my body, the shifts that happen daily, weekly, monthly, yearly that seemed to have quantum leapt after this one life altering initiation.

My Maiden would have nit picked this face, but I marvel at it. Forged in the deepest love and service.

There is no before, there is now only after.

I am curious to hear from other women who have given birth and to know if you also see newness when you look in the mirror.

If you haven’t yet said hello and introduced yourself, please do in the comments because I desire to get to know you all. And if you have anything else to share about this piece, I am always eager to hear and connect.

With love,

A.

Ways to work with me?

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